Auxiliares application pt. 2: Lord Protect me; I have been a fool
(It’s Monday right? Because yesterday was the weekend. Anyway, moving on…)
Growing up it was not uncommon for someone to say ‘the Lord (God) protects the stupid and the young,’ I may no longer qualify as young, at least in this context, but I certainly qualified as dumb when I did not triple check my Auxiliaries application.
It was my own dumb fault that I hit yes so many times, confirming my application was true and complete. It was my own dumb fault that my happy dance turned into stunned silence.
It was my own dumb fault that I did not triple check every par to the application and instructions. It was my own dumb fault I did not sign and date my letter of intention.
It was my own dumb fault, but that does not mean that I did not utilize a wide range of variations on the word F*UCK. My lack of signature could mean an automatic disqualification, it could mean I was done before I had even begun. I was gutted devastated. This is my plan, without it I find myself floating out into the unknown. I felt my tether slip away and that was unexceptable. Plus I was at work.
I had to get my stuff together, but I felt it slipping out of my grasp none the less.
As I let my head slip to my desk, my mind raced over the alternatives I could come up with. None of them seemed adequate. I must have continued to mutter my discontent as I wallowed, because it was not long before the gruff voice of my both came calling over our cube walls, ‘Please tell me you are not working on anything work related.’ ‘No.’ I replied, ‘but I might have just f*ed up my life plan on a stupid technicality.’ ‘Do you need to go for a walk?’ he asked, the sounds of concern slipping into his voice. ‘No.’ I said, standing and thinking I could shake it off and get back to the data entry I had been working on earlier.
Within moments I knew that shaking it off was simply not going to be an option for me, so I took Bob up on his offer and slipped my coat on and walked out of the Power Plant, where I work. In my moment of distress I knew I needed to call someone who could talk a bit of sense into me, as well as offer some sound advice.
Almost before I knew what I was doing I was calling my Aunt Dori, a good friend, confidant and giver of great advice, it made me sigh with relief when she answered the phone. Dori made me retell the story and reminded me to pull my big girl panties up, because crying certainly wasn’t going to help and it ain’t over till the fat lady sings. And she wasn’t singing yet.
After talking for some time and freaking out Dori reminded me that the sheer abundance of warnings to double check my application probably meant that I was not the first, nor the last, person to go and F it all up. In fact my only option was to call, or in this case email, the right person and beg for forgiveness and assistance. She was 99% sure that the sky was indeed not falling, though I was not personally convinced.
Her words did give me a sense of purpose and direction, so I quickly hung up the phone and returned to my office to try and fix the problem.
Returning to the Auxiliares website, I found the correct contact information for my region. I signed and rescanned my letter of intent and composed what I thought to be a sufficiently Spanish letter, asking for help. (Read a letter full of superlatives)
Almost immediately I got a reply. Señora Gómez was out of the office for two weeks, but there was a general email address for question regarding the Auxiliares program.
Quickly forwarding my email to the national office, I knew it would be a few days before I heard anything back, as they were located in Spain.
The next morning I woke up to an email. I was so nervous my fingers were shaking as I opened the email.
The world was not over, I simply needed to edit my application.
Problem. I was not allowed to do that, and try as I might I could only view my error not change it.
Over the next few days I emailed back and forth with the nameless individuals at the national office and by the end of the week had attached the correct version of my letter of intent to a hidden part of the original application, which I was still able to edit.
The Lord did protect me in stupidity and Saturday I sent off the rest of my paperwork via USPS. I won’t know for a while if it really all has worked out, but I have to give thanks for the forgiveness of the national office and continue to wait with hope that this dream of mine just might come true.
Keep wandering and keep up the faith
Until next time